This Bearded Dragon loves his iPad...

Here's a short video that's been immensely popular lately on Youtube - an Australian bearded dragon 'going for broke' trying to eat digital ants as they run down the screen of its owner's iPad in the game 'Ant Crusher'.

Now we've seen everything!

Are modern-day monsters just primal memories?

Bigfoot. Werewolves. Vampires. Succubi. Water monsters. Dragons. Are they merely all embroidered primal memories, part of an innate 'predator identification' system that keeps modern humans hyper vigilant to the threat of potential predators?

Do these frightening creatures only exist in our imaginations - terrifying memories of a time when humans were prey for a range of fierce predators?

Salon.com this week has an interesting article entitled 'why we invented monsters', revisiting a not entirely original premise that stories about dragons, ape men and other frightening beasts are merely echoes from the days of our primitive ancestors, who regularly witnessed dinosaurs and other creatures attacking and eating their brethren. The article's author Paul A. Trout, in discussing his new book on the same subject, Deadly Powers: Animal Predators and the Mythic Imagination, writes:

"Monsters fill the mythic landscape. In Hawaiian myth, there is a human with a “shark-mouth” in the middle of his back. In Aboriginal myth, there is a creature with the body of a human, the head of a snake, and the suckers of an octopus. In South American myth, there is the were-jaguar; in Native American myth, there are flying heads, human-devouring eagles, predatory owl-men, water-cannibals, horned snakes, giant turtles, monster bats, and even a human-eating leech as large as a house. In Greek myth, one finds Polyphemus, the one-eyed cannibal giant; the Minotaur, a monstrous human-bull hybrid that consumes sacrificial victims in the “bowels” of the subterranean Labyrinth; and Scylla, the six-headed serpent who wears a belt of dogs’ heads ravenously braying for meat...

"Every day over the course of several million years, our ancestors saw (and heard) living creatures being torn apart and devoured by hungry animals — with some victims still kicking as they were eviscerated and dismembered. No wonder our brains are wired to make us dread this awful fate, and that the stories we tell ourselves reflect this dread and attempt to express it — press it out.

"The archetype of the monster is an expression of this primal fear writ large, exaggerated and intensified to an outlandish degree. But why does this primal fear take the form of a “monster,” that is, a predatory creature that grotesquely mixes animal or human-and-animal physical features? In what way did our experiences as a prey species contribute to the formation of the mythic monster ?"

You can read the whole thing here.

Trout's article reminded us of another book recently brought to our attention, out for a couple of years now, Them and Us by Danny Vendramini, which raises the spectre of cannibal neanderthals, who he argues terrorised early man, raping and killing (and in some cases eating) hapless humans.

We're still awaiting our copy in the mail, but in his book, the Australian-based Vendramini examines, among other things, the pervasive belief in ferocious nocturnal predators that prey on humans after dark. He reveals it to be yet another vestige of Neanderthal predation. We fear dark forests because Neanderthals were nocturnal hunters. You can download sample chapters for here.

Vendramini, a self-described Darwinian scholar, has put together this short video about his book, and it makes for interesting viewing - 

But his refreshing treatise doesn't quite stretch to explaining, for example, anything about multiple witness sightings or physical trace evidence left behind in many bigfoot (and other cryptid) cases. Or deal in yet-to-be-discovered species of ape, for that matter. Yet. The book may well cover those topics, in which case we will update this post with our thoughts.

So is Bigfoot a living breathing archetype perhaps? If we all mimic storybook hero Peter Pan and say "I do believe in Bigfoot! I do! I do!" will it make it thus? We'd love to hear what you think.

Aussie natives hostage to foreign pet industry

Australian native animals are being illegally exported, bred and sold as pets overseas - despite many of them being illegal to own in their home country, or only available to those with extensive training and permits. Many of these animals commonly have a much longer life span than conventional domesticated pets such as dogs and cats.

The exotic pet trade is a lucrative one, and every year wildlife smugglers are exposed by customs officers trying to sneak reptiles, birds and small mammals out of this country.

Among the most popular species overseas are:

An obese pet Sugar Glider - over-fed by his owners.

Sugar gliders - Outside Australia, the Sugar Glider is a popular domestic pet, but is one of the most commonly traded wild animals in the illegal pet trade, where animals are plucked directly from their natural habitats. Although not endangered, this appealing little marsupial does not have much of a life to look forward to in foreign climes - its natural food of eucalyptus, acacia and gum tree nectar is scarce, leaving it to feed on the other things that make up its diet such as small insects. As a consequence, many become obese (such as the animal pictured above) and develop other health problems. Their native trees and vegetation are replaced with curtains and furniture upholstery. Life Span: 12-15 years. Wildlife status: Not Endangered.

A man and his full-grown pet wallaroo in the US.

Two young wallaroos kept in nappies!

Wallaroos - A wallaroo is any of three closely related species of macropod, intermediate in size between the kangaroos and wallabies. The name 'wallaroo' is derived from a combination of the words wallaby and kangaroo. In general, a large, slim-bodied macropod of the open plains is called a "kangaroo"; a small to medium-sized one, particularly if it is relatively thick-set, is a "wallaby": most wallaroos are only a little smaller than a kangaroo, fairly thickset, and are found in open country in Australia where they can bound around to their heart's delight. Abroad of course it's a different matter - they can be found trapped in suburban backyards and homes, some dressed up like dolls or wearing nappies. Life span: Up to 20 years. Wildlife status: Not Endangered.

A Bearded Dragon suffering from MBD - Metabolic Bone Disease, caused by poor
diet/animal husbandry - an agonising condition for the animal.

Bearded Dragons - The Inland or Central Bearded Dragon is found in arid, semi-arid woodlands and rocky deserts in central Australia, where they are incredibly fast and agile. While they can do well in captivity, they will miss that chance to stretch their legs. And poor diet can be a major issue for the reptiles, resulting in bone and other problems. Life Span: 10-20 years. Wildlife Status: Not Endangered.

And our bird life isn't immune either, with the species almost too numerous to mention but include many of our colourful and sizeable parrots. Judging by this Dept of Environment and Conservation press release, many of our smaller birds are also popular in foreign pet shops...

An Orange Chat in the wild.

A 43-year-old Bibra Lake man has been fined $1200 in Perth Magistrates Court for attempting to export protected Western Australian birds without a licence.

John Alan Middleton pleaded guilty to attempting to export 11 orange chats, five crimson chats, four white-fronted chats and three splendid fairy wrens in November 2008. 

The birds were part of two consignments tracked by the Department of Environment and Conservation (DEC) as part of an operation involving wildlife authorities in three States.
DEC prosecutions coordinator Gail Ritchie said that due to the cramped conditions in which they were held, 12 of the birds were dead upon arrival in Sydney. 

"Wildlife smugglers have little or no regard for animal welfare, which is why native WA birds can only be legally exported interstate with a valid export licence issued by DEC," she said.

"Some orange chats can fetch up to $500 each on the black market and splendid fairy wrens can be worth up to $250 each but the message is clear - if you try to smuggle birds out of WA, you will be investigated and prosecuted."

The maximum penalty for each offence of illegally exporting and possessing wildlife under WA's Wildlife Conservation Act is $4000. 

Smuggled birds discovered stuffed into a small box. They'll most likely die from
dehydration or suffocation, or if they're discovered at the other end of their trip, they'll be
destroyed by Customs officials. They miss their wild life.

So next time you think about getting an exotic animal for a pet...maybe think again. Not everyone is equipped to cater to the special needs of these animals, and you may very well be unwittingly supporting a black market in unusual fauna that is best left in its natural environment.

If these birds survive the trip - and it looks as if these ones didn't - they're
destined for life in a cage. Can you imagine what hell that is for a wild bird?

Could you imagine anything crueler for an animal or bird than being stuffed in a cardboard tube, a suitcase, a small box or strapped to a human body unable to move, drink or feed?